You did not forget me. Right..? Daddy?

I can smell the damp soil. The flowers are wet. Yes, it rained. I see the rainbow path. It is like it wants to tell me something.
I am at the balcony. My eyes are closed while feeling the wind. I am sitting in my brown old stool. It is so old. I wonder how does it still keep me. When I was a kid it was easier. Of course, it was. I was only a nine-year-old childhood, thirty-three kg meat, some childish dreams, one hope, and a few disappointments. How heavy could it be?

Very.

Maybe instead of sitting on that stool, I should have been playing with my dolls. I should go out playing stupid games with stupid children on the street. On this straight street which you walked away… and never came back.

I tried to follow your steps. I followed them, Dad. I followed, but your steps lead me nowhere, and there was no store there. When you left you told me you go to the store to buy me candies. Where are my candies, Dad?

Where are you, Dad?

Now, I look at that street, and there is no one. The kids on the street have grown up. Lilia, the daughter of the principal, is a grown lady now. She will get married soon. “With a good healthy and wealthy guy,” the principal said. He never changed. He laughs always exactly as you remember. The snotty-nosed Michael is a soldier now. Jim works at a farm. He visits me from time to time. So yes, the street is empty now. Each one of them grew up but me…

I am still in my brown stool. Even the stool got old, daddy, but I am still ten. I am still the girl who waits for you. Of course. How can you give up on waiting for a dad?
You can`t. Maybe… Maybe if you did not leave me I would not have sit here for 3 days as a pickle brine left to dry away. Maybe my aunt would not have treated me as one old dirty cloth. Maybe I would have grown up like all kids around here and become a young lady like mom. Remember? You always said, “You will be a shining star, a beautiful young lady exactly as your mom was.”
I remember.

Maybe if I didn`t, I would have been happier, and maybe then, just maybe I would not have run of boys, thinking that each one of them will leave me one day.
I would have not felt so lonely when I graduated high school. I would have come and shown you my red dress just to hear how beautiful I am in your shining teary eyes. When Jim picked me up for prom, asking for your permission, I would hug you, laughing at your grumpiness. Then I would kiss your wrinkled forehead, and feel how proud you are.
I was alone… and the only shining teary eyes were mine.

Is your forehead wrinkled? After thirteen years? I cannot even imagine. You are always young and handsome for me. But you?

If they ask I will tell them my dad never forgot me.

I will tell them I am the wind`s daughter.
I will tell them I grow up with rainbow and flowers.
I will tell them the rain is my mom.
I will tell my kids that every time I feel the wind, I feel your fingers through my hair.

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